Scary business

Do you have a list of things in the bottom of your bucket list that you know won’t come true? Wishful thinking, it’s like dreaming with no strings attached.

1)      Going to outer space

2)      Travelling in a submarine

3)      Touring all the 196 countries in the world

4)      Meeting Oprah Winfrey

One of the things in the bottom of my list used to be – Going to Disneyland. But it happened, and I had nothing to do with it; it was one of the most insane gifts by God. Everything was free – flight tickets, stay at the Disney resort, rides at the park, amazing food at fancy restaurants…

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But here’s the thing, even though my wishful fancy came true, I still didn’t learn my lesson. I knew how to trust God in small things, but never really acknowledged the fact that He could move the mountains.

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My mountain? To study in Columbia Journalism School, New York. Even though studying there is one of my biggest dreams, I have never applied. Why, you ask? The fee is exorbitant, around Rs 60, 00,000 ($96,171). I don’t even know how much that money looks.

And I being my biggest enemy won the battle fair and square. Out of fear, I talked myself out of applying for close to five to six years. Yep! That’s how old the dream is.

But for the past few weeks, God has been talking to me, gently probing me to do something which will change my entire existence – leap of faith.

Our church has been collecting money, in form of tithes and donations, to buy a land to build their building. They aim to collect Rs 10 crore (approx $2 million) in the coming few months. They already have close to Rs 6 crore.

When they started with nothing, a lot of us expressed doubt. I, honestly, didn’t think they would make it this far. Their faith in Jesus has been inspiring. And during this time, God has also been asking me, “If they can trust me for Rs 10 crore, can’t you trust me with an amount that is 1/100th of that?”

“On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.” Genesis 22:14

Honestly, this ‘leap of faith business’ is pretty scary. I have had so many anxiety attacks that I have stopped keeping count. Not to mention the breakdowns when I try to think of a way this impossibility can true.

But I am till going ahead with it. Application deadline is December 16 and my Toefl exams tomorrow. In between those dates, the coward in me will die a thousand deaths (William Shakespeare)… but I am hoping to remember the encouraging words my friend messaged me:

You are not just waiting on God,

God is waiting on you.

Move ahead for your miracle,

Receive it in Jesus’ name,

And dare to say Amen.

Check this out too:

This is what I was watching yesterday and was a huge source of inspiration. This 19-year-old homeless guy is going to study in Howard, all thanks to the random acts of kindness: http://homelesstohoward.tumblr.com

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