The calm after the storm

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He wanted to run away and that’s exactly what he did. He went about in circles when the path he was supposed to go on was right in front of him. He knew what he was supposed to do, but he ran anyway.

 

Running away from a situation rather than running towards it is my kind of a thing. I love doing that, it’s less messy and you don’t have to face the drama that usually accompanies such situations. Not to mention, doing the right thing is not always what you might “feel” like doing at that time.

 

The word of the Lord came to Jonah, “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa and after paying the fare; he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord. (Jonah 1: 1-3)

 

I wasn’t called to preach against anyone (thank goodness!!), I was told to stay away. The person stood for everything that I had never wanted in a guy, but at that moment I guess I just wanted to do “what felt right” — forgetting all the while that even though it felt right, it was not the right thing for me. So, what I did was I didn’t listen to what my friends had to say and I took off, like Jonah, not in a boat but down the road which felt like the much-needed adventure my boring life needed at that time (*insert ‘regret’ soundtrack*).

 

Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. They turned to Jonah and asked, “What have you done?” They knew he was running away from the Lord, because he had already told them so. (Jonah 1)

 

Let’s not even get started with the storms I faced that year. Crying buckets is an understatement. During the whole time when I was desperately trying to make things work, I was zealous, insecure, angry (if you know me, you’ll be surprised by this) and annoyed all the time. There was a time, when I walked back home after a fight at 3 am in the morning and, on other occasions, stuck paper slips in my closet, which said, “Do not text. Do not get in touch.” I wanted to get out, but I knew I didn’t have the strength to end it on my own. I prayed for it to end and ended up spending some quality time inside the belly of a fish.

 

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The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So they asked him, “What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?” “Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.” Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. (Jonah 1: 11-17)

 

Then it ended; just like that. But I was left with memories, painful memories. For the longest time, I was unable to cross places where we had previously met. Then there was this realization and accepting the fact that I was a rebound (isn’t that like the WORST thing ever?). I was aware of this in the beginning, but somehow I felt I could change things, I could change him. (Did I mention that I stalked this other girl for as long as I can remember? She is also stunning by the way, like model-actress pretty) My friends had been right all along, I was letting myself be “treated like a doormat”. Breakeven (the song by The Script) was literally my best friend at that time.

{By the way, he’s back with that girl and they might be getting married soon}

 

But then came the time when I stopped running, for I had to go back.

 

From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said:

 

“In my distress I called to the Lord,

 and he answered me.

 From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,

 and you listened to my cry.

To the roots of the mountains I sank down;

 the earth beneath barred me in forever.

But you, Lord my God,

brought my life up from the pit.

(Jonah 2:1-6)

 

It took time, A LOT of time, to even think about moving on; I had hit rock-bottom, and things weren’t going to magically fix themselves. I remember my friend says, “Everybody goes through a heart break, I am glad we (she was going through the same thing) had a taste of it early on.”

 

If you have been reading my posts (*thank you thank you thank you*), you would know that I am totally over the whole incident. I am a new creation and though I do feel guilty of what I let myself get into in the past, I know I don’t need to punish myself any more.

 

Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.” When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened. (Jonah 3:6-10)

 

Picture 1: Before the storm

Picture 2: In between 

Picture 3: After the storm

 

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