Marriages are made in heaven, but the decision to spend eternity with the same person is certainly made on earth. With that in mind I write the following not to glorify marriage (even though I am pro-marriage), but with the intention to hit the nail with my hopefully mighty hammer – Marriage is not all about catching the train, but more like waiting for the right one to come by.
If you had to catch a flight from Spain to India, would you get on the flight that takes you to England just because it landed first? The answer is no, well, as long as you are not James Bond assigned for some kick-ass and completely impractical mission.
AGE old issue: With that I launch into the one of the biggest ‘age’ old issues we, maidens, face. Majority of my friends are being pressurized into getting married, the reason being they are getting old, too old. If the age group of 20-29 is old, no wonder the botox industry is thriving. Though getting married in early 20s might be many people’s dream (it was mine for the longest time), dreams don’t have a good real-life guarantee period. I wanted my first boyfriend to be my last one; but as that didn’t happen I am not catching hold of whosoever comes within my sight. Being single is not a disease; but even if some say it is and you happen to catch it, then plug in your ear phones and sing along to ‘I Will Survive’, because you will.
“For I know the plans I have for you, ‘Declare The Lord,’ plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
SETTLING phase: His plans are better than ours and if you are being called to wait, then do so no matter how strong the opposition might be. Two of the people I know are going through hell for the same reason, but they know that if they give in they will regret the decision for the rest of their lives. And life full of regrets is not a good life at all. I was just discussing with a friend on how commendable it is that Sarah (*name changed), though 35 years old, was still married when we met her. That was some years back, I don’t know whether she is married now as she went back home to the US. But she is one person I look up to when it comes to not giving in to the peer pressure.
Then there is this phase, that I am sure majority of you might have gone through, ‘the settling phase’. You know where you think he/she is The One just because you don’t want to get out of the comfortable relationship. My friend and I went through this phase at the same time, so thankfully we had each other when our bubble burst. The person stood against everything I believed in – my faith, plans for future etc. As love is blind, so was I blind towards the flaws I didn’t want to see in that person.
LOVE is not a feeling, but a decision: I knew love is blind, but what I forgot is that love is also a decision. The number one person I love is Jesus and though I have come across numerous gentlemen, none have been ‘The One’ that will help honour my first love.
IT’S human to stand in a crowd, but it’s divine to stand alone: You know what happens when Apple releases its latest gadget? People make a beeline because everybody wants to get a piece of that scrumptious apple pie. Ever noticed the domino effect when someone in your circle gets married? Well, you end up shopping every weekend for a new dress for the next wedding you have been invited to.
Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them– every day begin the task anew. ~ Francis de Sales.
All I am saying is — after having been part of dozens of conversations where people have been stressing the need to get/want to get married asap — just hang in there. It’ll happen, might not happen this year, but you will get married. So cut yourself some slack and worry about the other 99 important issues plaguing your otherwise happy-go-single life.