The myopia of suffering



It was not something that happened over night. In fact, the emotional abuse has been going on for some years. But when family members abuse you, not many make a big deal out it. “They are your family; they have the right to ‘bring you back your senses for they know what’s best for you’.” Bring her back to her senses at the cost of losing her sanity?


Fighting a battle, where it’s her (alone) against the many, hasn’t been easier either. Slowly she found herself pushed to the edge of the cliff. Her roots are dug deep so she hasn’t fallen yet; but the tiredness has set it. No one talks to her that much when she goes home after a long day at work and then there are always these sarcastic comments that the others feel it’s their duty to shower her with. “I can’t always blame them, you know. Somewhere down the line I am to be blamed too. In case of conflict, friction is from both the sides.” She is right because there have been some instances where she was wrong. But since she is alone, the burden gets too heavy to bear.


“I am going to give in to their demands and say yes to the next thing they demand of me to do,” she said after the waterworks could not be controlled. “No you cannot. You have waited for so long. You have waited for God’s timings, you cannot give in now. Not only will you ruin your life, but also the life of the people you are going to be meeting in the future.” Because you see, “hurting people hurt others”.





But she has fought for so long that now she is sick of it and she just wants it to STOP. She wants to willing jump off the cliff. While she is determined, I tell her story I usually tell people when they feel that the universe is conspiring against them and when they feel everything is coming to an end.


I tell them the story of Job. His story, which always seems to say: “In our suffering, we do not know all the facts.” He suffered the most even when he hadn’t done anything wrong. But rather than giving in to his anger, he waited to hear from the Lord.


(You can read more here:



It can feel like the end of the world, but when you look around, you see people making the most of what life has to offer, even though circumstances have done nothing but shred them to pieces. I know a friend who is raising her kids all by herself. It gets difficult, it gets depressing. She cries, she grumbles, she curses; but then, she picks up the pieces and is a mother to her children that depend on her for their lives.


You have a choice. Just like Maya Angelou did. Despite her traumatic past, she went on to become one of the most influential people the world has even seen.

(You can read up about her here:


You have a choice. Just like Gladys Staines did. She chose to forgive the people who burnt her husband and two sons in 2003. She said during an interview, “I have forgiven the killers and have no bitterness because forgiveness brings healing and our land needs healing from hatred and violence. Forgiveness and the consequences of the crime should not be mixed up.”

(This is what she did:


As she dangles by the edge of the cliff, I tell her she has a choice. Either she can let go or she can fight hard for the right thing. “Because even though hurting people hurt others, hurting people also heal,” as the pastor said during a sermon this Sunday.

But then like everybody else, it’s a choice that only she can make.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s