Others describe it like the shattering of a glass in a million little pieces; I say it feels like taking a bullet. In the matters of the heart, hearing a ‘no’ when you were hoping against hope for a ‘yes’ can be didactic. You thought I was going for ‘traumatic’, isn’t it? Nope, today is the D-Day and by that I don’t mean I am gathering an army of broken hearted lovers. Nope; today is the day when the alphabet ‘D’ is called into service to remind the shattered ones how a couple of random words combined can heal what one feels can never be healed.
Didactic: Intended to teach, particularly in having moral instruction as an ulterior motive (online dictionary).
I thought I liked this person but I had to say no to myself before anything happened because he didn’t believe in the same things as I did. I was ‘Depressed’ but after a couple of years I found out that he had been dating someone for years. In truth, I never really had a chance for the two are in a very serious relationship. A ‘Didactic’ incident that further illuminated the fact that it might seem like the end of the world; but that’s how things always look when looked at with a myopic vision. It took sometime (two years) before I could see that the ‘no’ was the best thing that could ever happen.
Can life ever be like getting on a merry go-round? Time ceases to exist for everything is a blur. One feels ‘Dizzy, Disoriented and Dreamy’. Can one live like that? In a blur… because waiting, waiting for things to eventually work out can be so ‘Disturbing’. Moreover, patient endurance is not everybody’s cup of tea. The soul can take a beating when the same dream gets shattered again and again. How far is too far? How long must one really hold on to because many a times it’s the holding on that becomes the most painful thing to do?
‘Doughty’ is what Mr D whispers in my ears as I bite my lips for the right word. I had known this person for some months and I thought the feelings were mutual. During our on and off conversations, I thought we were headed in the same direction and that it would be any day before he asks me out… “I think of you as my older sister”. That was the moment when I realised what it felt like taking a bullet. While he came across as ‘Dispassionate’, I tried to be ‘Dignified’. Story of my life: You never let a guy know how much he hurt you. You do not give them that satisfaction.
Doughty: Brave and persistent (online dictionary).
You don’t give up on love just because you have been hurt a couple of hundred times.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
And the finest arsenal Mr D can win this war with: You ‘Deserve’ the best and nothing but the best! This was a line that my friend and I used to tell each other when our love bus had hit rock bottom. In an article written by a psychiatrist who had worked in a war-torn area, she pointed out that despite the inhumane circumstances the people had gone through in the past, one of the things that majority of the people came to her for help with were matters relating to the heart.
We are all just the same, everywhere and every place we all deal with the same problem of having a broken and trampled heart. It might feel like it’s just happening to you, but you only have to look around and see how ‘Determinant’ these wounds are in making a person who he or she is.
So either you can be ‘Dejected’ or you can be ‘Determined’ to not let this ruin you. The choice is yours. But what you should never forget is that YOU really do ‘Deserve’ the best.
(This post is ‘Dedicated’ to a friend who just took a bullet — Don’t you worry, don’t you worry, child. See heaven’s got a plan for you…)