She is 28, she has two little girls but what she also has, and would do anything to get rid of, cancer. Ever since she got the news she has started dropping the girls at their grandparents after school… she wants them get used to a life without her.
This woman, that I know nothing about and will probably never know, won’t get to see her daughters grow up, fall in love, fall out of love, graduate… she won’t have the fights that mother’s are forever complaining about to their friends, how their kids no longer listen, how they are getting way out of hand, how they sometimes wished they never had them.
I focus on my breathing, in and out. I am hyperventilating. No it’s not because of the woman, one who bravely prepares to face the inevitable, but us… She is dying, so are we; everyday, every second, we are decaying. Our teeth are rotting, hair is greying, skin is sagging and the gait is losing its spring. We are all headed to the same inevitable as the woman. She knows she has limited time, so she is doing everything that will leave her with no regret when she closes her eyes one last time.
I am hyperventilating because I many a times forget that my time here is limited too. And perhaps I won’t see it coming, I won’t get time to say sorry or goodbyes, I won’t get time to undo things and leave behind a legacy that I would want to be remembered with.
Now Jabez was more honourable than his brothers. Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.
(1 Chronicles 4:9-10)
Jabez is remembered for a prayer request rather than a heroic act.
It’s this woman and this man named Jabez, it’s the way they are leading or led their lives that is making it difficult for me to breath. You might be a good dancer, or might sing like a dream; you might be the life of a party, or you might be a leader that everybody looks up to… I am none of those things; the only thing that people identify me with is my faith. And I feel I haven’t been doing anything in that direction since a long time.
I hope you are better off than me. I hope you are constantly pushing yourself in the direction, doing things that you love, taking on challenges that scare the life out of you… I hope you are building a life that people will remember long after you are gone.