One doesn’t need the ultimate reckoning of a mental illness to be reminded of the fact that memory, and not just life, is fleeting. Running through time, tripping through its painfully sharp turns and curves… it can be quite a challenge to be with others who don’t seem to keep up in this mad race. The calls back home to old souls that took care of me when I was growing up always seemed so cumbersome. Yet, when they called weeks later, I couldn’t help but scrunch up my face in guilt. “How did I forget to call? Our calls don’t last longer than five minutes! How could I spare not that much of time?”
Do you toes curl up in anger when people forget? Forget that they were supposed to hang out with you, forget that they were supposed to call you back, forget to return the favour you had asked them days ago… How many times have you been responsible for the toe-curling? There have been days and weeks and months, where I wondered about time and how I was unable to do the littlest of things because I kept forgetting. Even though in the my prime of my health, I was already a wreck.
The constant rushing, it can give one the false impression that world goes round because of us. And the solution to my rushing came to me during my quiet time, when I quite literally was doing nothing, but quietly reading a book as the sun climbed up by my bedroom window and mum prepared the afternoon lunch.
The protagonist in the book was in the habit of making lists — buy eggs, make baked eggs, don’t give up even if they taste disgusting… A list for her was a reminder of things that needed to be done as she found herself in the tragic tale of losing her beloved husband. The written word was her anchor as everything tossed and turned around her.
It’s been two weeks and my lists aren’t fancy, but it’s my the written word, an anchor that my troubled mind always remembers to remind.
- Read Ann Voskamp’s blog post (because you know it’s the healing you need everyday)
- Work out (your body will thank you)
- Call your aunt (she is your family and nothing else should matter)
- Give your pink heel to be fixed that has been lying in your sister’s house since two week
Life loses meaning when it’s hard to remember why you are here. And you’ll never experience joy if you don’t pay attention to the littlest of the little details. Because that’s where both God and the Devil resides.