There is a before and after to everything. BEFORE I fell down the potty-filled manhole, when I was 10 years old (mind you), I was unaware the spectacle would be passed around during social gatherings like a valuable heirloom for YEARS to come. AFTER I did fall down the treacherous creation of man, I realised that during a situation as hilarious as this people (and even family = my sister) take their time to get you out of your very own depth of humiliation and indulge in what one may observe as LAUGHING LIKE A BUNCH OF HYENAS.
Whoever said ‘blood is thicker than water’ must have never gone down one, especially if it was brimming with liquid human excreta. I don’t think so. And you, mister, need to learn a thing or two from the Master. *Which is of course me. Don’t tell me didn’t catch the drift? Sigh! Must I dive into the filth once again? Humans! Wish I was a cat*
The most recent Before and After is as old as time. It’s a tale exalting a maiden’s valour and her determination to work her way through life’s difficult times. *Truth me told, I did act like a sissy most of the times. But fairy tales are N-E-V-E-R written about sissy maidens, so we must stick to the aforementioned narration*
23 days since I was let loose to roam the Earth and look after everything that moved around in it…
It had been 23 FREAKING days since I quit my job and the habit of not having any work (which paid in a pile of green money) to do was slowly eating me from inside.
The maiden made the most of her long and struggle-free days. She lived like a princess among people, who looked up to her in awe.
Waking up every day and cleaning the kitchen, even though is an amazing workout, it’s really not as glamorous as the Desperate Housewives. When I wasn’t wiping the goo from sinks and kitchen surfaces; it was descending me like a dove – goo from pigeons who couldn’t keep it in. Stupid birds! I am so not going to miss them when they go extinct.
Days passed by, but the resolve never wavered. Though the future remained unpredictable, the courageous maiden never lost the spring in her step.
But she sure did go down the Humpty-Dumpty way and shat so many bricks that the world can be secured they will never run out of them… ever.
Whoever said “waiting is painful” (= entire human race) was the arch nemesis of Albert Einstein. As I spent my days chasing sunsets (I am a maverick, I do not chase rainbows, I am too cool to do that *flips her hair*), cleaning the inside of house until I started imaging dirt particles on surfaces that were spotless white and waiting for the “bike to shift gears from neutral and start rolling”, I was going a little (okay, a lot) crazy.
Until… *the good part*
I got a job. *Sheesh. Not as anticlimactic as you hoped for. I am not Christopher Nolan, okay!! If I was, then you would be watching Dark Knight series directed by me. Which makes me want to add that you are quite lucky to not witness. Because I would have made Batman come to Hyderabad and (force him to) be my boyfriend and have him drive me to work in his Bat Mobile* *swoon*
So, yes, I got a job. *Ahem, back to the real-life out of the reel*
Are you happy? I GOT A JOB!!!
How does it benefit or affect you in anyway? Probably it doesn’t. But I might have the spirit of Steve Jobs inside of me, so the next phone you might buy could be made my me. *Skadoosh*
NOTE: The writer might be a little unhinged after the unexpected yet good news of finally bagging a job. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. And the writer is glad she finally has an answer to her Great Unknown, even if it has rendered her with temporary (we know it’s permanent, always has been) insanity.