Forward. Backward. Repeat.

Fear leads to hesitation, leads to confusion, leads to doubt, leads to pain, leads to the soul not getting anywhere. Fear is how I would define my first few weeks in this land I am beginning to call my home.


Days were as bright as they could possibly be, but the heart cowered despite the light, holding on seemed like a wasted fight. As the mess spread its gangly web, the in and out of the muted breath started to resemble a smashed up turbine.


Have you ever wondered why the women with swollen bellies breath in out and like their lives depend on it? Because it truly does.

From the fiery throngs of pain comes life and for it to step into the light, all one needs to do is inhale and exhale…

I gasp and grasp; and then like whiskers of morning light, the ache starts to subside.


9 thoughts on “Forward. Backward. Repeat.

    1. Please do forgive me and get back to me Rachel! Please, can’t wait to hear from you if you are in the states. I am excited for you and the way the Lord is moving in your life. I promise to not discomfort you, Please believe me and give me a chance to repent and start afresh. Please do not harden your heart against me. if you know me you will know my fruit too, Please just give me another chance. Trust me you will not be disappointed this time around. I really mean that. It would be wonderful to know what you are pursuing here and what brings you here, I am sure the Father in Heaven has great things in store for you. Please do text or call me on (650)-446-0354. Do not be hardened amiga, consider my contrite spirit. I mean it with all my inner man,

      sincerely and truly,

      1. Wow! So good to hear from you! I kinda guessed that, later I thought must be Canada. Must be Cold in there isn’t it? My best friends from Hyderabad, two muslim brothers live in Ontario now. Maybe they can help if you need help sometime. You can minister to them too. They’re Gentlemen.
        What brings you there? Alliance Rexdale church Pastor Sundar Krishnan. You should totally go there if you live around Toronto.

      2. That’s nice to hear. I, fortunately, found a church near my house. It’s lovely and the people so warm and welcoming.

        Hope you are doing fine.

      3. That’s legit. I second and firmly believe that North Americans are the Most welcoming and wonderful people in the world. I truly believe they are very emotional and learn how to present themselves in the most gentle and sensitive way possible. (sensitive towards others in a very subtle and respectful way) No doubt they are the most sought after country in the world. I don’t know about Canada, but I have a Canadian couple at church whom I will be seeing hopefully tomorrow(Simply wonderful, talented and very motivating) They played a pivotal role in shaping me up for my job and praying for me unrelentingly.

        If I may ask, which state are you in? and what are you pursuing here. I am hanging in there by the Grace of our Lord Jesus. Thanks so much 🙂 e tu?

  1. Hey Rach, how are you? How’s your weekend? Just wanted to know if you were staying for Christmas? also is there another place where I can get by with, I do not want to spam your blog here?

    don’t be mad at me. Dorein.

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