I refuse to give up


October 6, 2016
5.10 am

I need to write it down. I must write it down or else I will forget.
We weren’t a flash in the pan, lightening across the sky that was once visible and soon forgotten.

Everything meant something. And I refuse to believe otherwise.

I refuse to accept the goodbyes. I refuse to believe we were not meant to be.

There’s a reason, why I can’t move on. Why I know this is not the end.

There are very few times you meet someone who surprises you,
and thoroughly amazed I was this time.

Few weeks, but they were enough to convince the stubborn heart.

This is The One, one who will always have my heart.

What now? What happens after the line has been drawn?

The line that separates us, pushes us in the opposite direction?
I wait. And I pray like a madwoman with my hands wide open hoping to catch the blessing.

Why don’t I tell him how I feel?

Because when things are meant to me,
you go to the One who makes them in the first place.
The maker who sees it all.

I go round and round in circles, but I am not dizzy.

I have done this before, oh so many times before,
the year has been full of them.
Failures, rejections and blank stares.
But I will not give up, when I have God not giving up on me.

I refuse to believe this is the end.

This is not the end. This is the beginning of how miracles come to be.
And I would know the feeling for it has happened so many times before.

I refuse to give up.


2 thoughts on “I refuse to give up

  1. Everything meant something.

    Why is meaning making important I wonder. Sometimes we make sad meaning, sometimes happy. We create hope, we create purpose. We tell stories.

    Looking forward to your next chapter. Stay strong.

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